john b. loved testimony

This testimony was in answer to my question on yahoo answers: Do you believe in anything Good?
John b. Loved answer is below.


I didn't used to. I figured everybody ultimately was in the game for themselves, and all their goodness was self serving. I really was a Cynic in my philosophy of life. Then over time I got disgruntled with God and figured He was doing a very poor job, so I "fired" Him, and told Him to get out of my life. Much to my surprise He seemed to do just that, and everything in my life seemed to turn to crap in a moment. It was like all the goodness packed up and left and all that was left was the garbage. I literally lost the ability to laugh or smile. I became extremely self conscious and self analytical. I began to examine every thought, every memory, every experience, looking for something good, something of value, something worthwhile and found it all to be utter insufferable meaninglessness.
I began to sink into a pit of depression to the point of despair. The harder I struggled to get out, the faster I sank, like I was in quicksand. I felt within myself like I was falling into a bottomless pit and there was nothing to break my rate of descent.
It was in that state of mind I came home one day fell on my face and started crying ,and something totally unexpected happened. A voice spoke a simple word into my heart saying "Maybe Jesus really did die for your sins. " Now I hadn't been giving any thought towards Jesus, but the force of that thought brought such a change within me that it would take book to elaborate on it all. My despair changed instantly to hope - not like the world's hope, but a confident assurance of a bright future. Somehow I knew my sins were forgiven, I had peace with God and I was destined for heaven. The whole thing seemed so irrational, because it was when I was most hostile in mind towards God, that was when He was most gracious towards me.
I realized that day that there was genuine Goodness, but that it did not reside in Man, but in God, and over the years I have proved it over and over again in my own life that the Creator God is exactly like Jesus Christ, and that God is love, just as the Bible says.




john b. loved · 20 hours ago